The Kid with the puzzle....

An messy room...no much light around except for that sunset ray going through the small slit just beside that wooden window covered by the dark red curtain....

The room was messed up with toys....lots of them, cars, dolls, airplanes...I couldn't even guess if that was a boy or a girl's room....

There was a large lamp in the middle of the ceiling, but it wasn't lit...

A little kid whom I couldn't recognize his/her face...I couldn't even decide if it's a boy or a girl....but I could see he's a child...a weak one...

The child seemed very busy...he was trying to re-order some pieces of a puzzle, to form a picture which seemed like he lost the guide to it...he didn't have another photo of the puzzle to imitate, and there was no one around to help...I stood at the door watching silently so I won't disturb...

I was very surprised...how can a kid leave all that toys and stick to a puzzle...kids don't usually love puzzles...they love adventures...or what they call adventures...

It was also strange that he didn't use the lights just above him...yet I wasn't very surprised...kids don't usually do right things and look for things to guide....only grown ups do.

I kept watching for sometime, then I decided to get closer...the child noticed me..I got closer and sat beside him...I could now see his face clearly...yet I am sure he didn't see himself as clear as I did, A mirror is never as clear as human eye is...

I asked him what does the picture he was trying to form looks like....

He answered that he didn't know...

So I wondered why was wasting his time doing this...

He said: I noticed that my eye was on one of those pieces...so I was sure I am in the picture...

I asked surprisingly how he 's that sure that this was his eye..

He said...no one knows my look better than I do....no one has that determined eye except me...

I was surprised...those can never be the words of a little kid...yet, I watched silently...

He started with the eye he believe it was his....and then tried to form his face...it was really him...maybe that time, he didn't need a mirror....he proved that a person can see himself without mirrors...a heart's eye is much clearer than a human eye...

He continued working on the puzzle.....he formed the whole him...that took him the longest time, no sooner he completed that part he was done with the whole picture...

It looked very sweet, the sky was deep blue, the clouds were foamy...and he was standing up still...raising his head up high...much taller than he actually was....and looked much stronger...

It's not about how human eyes see us...it's about how our hearts' eyes see ourselves...that's how we'll finish up our puzzles.....

I left silently...but I was proud of the kid...who taught me much in those few minutes....

Ah...I realized that he didn't need the guiding picture...nor the lamp in the ceiling.....Sometimes Kids do things better than grown ups do....

I hate RECYCLING!

9 am.....the fresh but cold morning breeze was moving my scarf away...the sun was shining and the greans were sparkling over mat7af el manial where I was walking holding my lab coat, a couple of books and my bag. This time I wasn't heading to "El ma5ruba", I was moving to sa7bet-ha el ma7ru2a (kasr el 3einy sabekan) because my exam was held there....

I remembered the same day (bs da kan 20/1 not 24 w kan sabt w msh 5amees :D) last year, the same place, the same weather, the same facial expressions, the same room, the same samples, the same staff watching over the exam...just a couple of differences: The first was that this time I was alone, although I had lots of people around last year, the second was: The different me.

People were rushing holding their books, they don't know where they should go...two girls were heading to the 3rd floor so b 5ebrety I called and said: "el door el talet da bta3 wafd malysia :D e7na fel tany :D"

The same man sitting in the same door holding the same "daftar" and collecting "geneih wa7ed, rasm d5oul el emt7an" from the students.

I felt like I slept for a while and woke up to see people changing, yet I am in the same place.

I started thinking about how bored I am :D So that took me to a wider angle (ma3lesh asl ana mesawarateya...walla eh ya Ra3'da :D), How bored the staff are?

W zay mat3awedna, el angles malhash 7odood, so you can zoom out ela ma la nehaya....I've always loved wider anlges 3ammatan :D

How boring would the world be If we all did the same thing? We weren't born to live w 5alas...
Law Marwa da5alet el madrasa w ba3daha gam3a (ely heya tasmee3 aslan w fakra malhash ma3na f 7ayat 7ad zayey :D bs howa 3ashan el mogtama3 la yakbal eny akoun mada5altesh gam3a) w ba3daha teshta3'al ay 7aga, w tetgawez ay 7ad, w te5alles ay 3eyal, w temout...3ady....

w X da5alet el madrasa, w ba3daha gam3a, w ba3daha teshta3'al ay 7aga w tetgawez ay 7ad w te5allef ay 3eyal w temout....3ady...

w Y da5alet el madrasa, w ba3daha gam3a, w ba3daha teshta3'al ay 7aga w tetgawez ay 7ad w te5allef ay 3eyal w temout....3ady...


Zehe2to...sa7? How boring this world would be if life went in that cycle....if we all RECYCLED each other's lives...if we all lived just to live....w 3ashan howa da el 3ady, heya di sonnet el 7ayah, maho keda kowayes, wana ha3ouz eh aktar men keda w......

I am brand new....bel ticket ya3ny :D I am not and I won't accept to be recycled, only trash can be recycled (asfa if that was offensive....bas 7asset-ha awy).

"Those who don't have dreams have nothing.

W astanna 7elmy yenteser...

Again with my note book....whom I fell in love with! :D (December 16th).

I always claimed that the best time a person can invest in thinking is the time being on his/her way back home after a busy day....and everyday that claim tends to be proved.

After a very hard day, full of hard moments and smooth ones....met many people, talked about lots off issues, thought about much things, walked lots of miles and spent some of the hardest moments in the disappointment mood I had then.....I was driving on my way back home, being so late...it's 10 pm already, I have been out since 10 am, no rest, no food, no water.

Spending a day in "Kafr berak el 5eyam" isn't usually an enjoyable one, but it makes you feel satisfied about how you live and always say al 7amdulillah.

Today's al 7amdulillah was kinda different one....awel marra a7essaha :)

We were visiting the families in a "call for pride" ...a call for a small project, I first thought it was going to be met by acceptance and satisfaction...(although some people said it won't, but actually it was met by.....disappointing attitudes.

We went out of the first house...I couldn't stop those stupid thoughts from calling me: MSH HATE3MELO 7AGA...MA7ADDESH HAY3ABBARKO....so I decided that I would keep my mind in a "hibernating" mode till we reached the sencond house...

I went out from the second....to the third...to the fourth....to the fifth...and each time I tried to explain to the women: "It's just like your own child, you'll see it growing in front of....it's your own...imagine when your whole family starts helping and then you can get.....and you children will grow up having their own work, no need for......and....and....plus...."

I realized that I was dreaming alone :) Although it should have been their own dream...
And again (for three consecutive days) Tito's (Aywa...yo3'oslavia ya waldy :D) quote pops up into my mind: One nightingale's singing is not enough to call the spring...

I left the place disappointed...and it took me more than two hours to reach Manial moving from "Meedan lebnan"....ZAM7A...3awameed nour wa23a f 2asr el 3einy due to bad climatic conditions...So tired..started thinking..homma 5ayfeen? Tab homma kaslaneen? Walla homma msh waskeen feena?....yoooooh ba2a...msh 3ayza afakar, ana te3ebt fe3lan...switched on the music player...I only heard one sentence: " W astanna 7elmy yenteser"...

El 7amdulillah...3ashan I'm not afraid to dream...w 3ashan msh kaslana, wala msh waska f nafsy...
w hastanna 7elmy yenteser...yet, I won't wait long ensha2allah :):)

The wr-ight way.

This is taken from my blue notebook (ely ma7addesh 3omro shafha wala hayshofha m3a en 3aleiha ragel se3eedy gameel awy :D), as a part of my (personal) project la2atat men 7ayat psycho ely baktebo bona2an 3ala ektera7 my friend "Aya", as she said that writing kol yom what inspired you, motivated you, or taught you something would be very motivating lel seneen ely ba3d keda whenever you read it, w bona2an 3ala gomlel el 7ag 7asanein heikal lamma 2al en kol ensan 3ando f 7ayato ely yetketeb w yeb2a ketab el nas kollaha bete2rah w tet3allem menno (howa kan byewsef botros 3'aly, msh Marwa Morgan, w m3a keda ha2ollo shokran 3al mogamla el ra2ee2a w ha5odha 3ala nafsy, bs ha keep this to myself w msh hanshoro akeed :D).

Kal 3ada se7eet el sob7 ray7a 3alaya nowma (mahma kan ely 3andy, w mahma kan m3ado, lazem trou7 3alaya nowma, wallahy ma fel mo7adrat bs ya Rana :D), mesa22ata w mesadda3a w ta3bana geddan after a very tiring day (ely howa embare7) l daraget eny msh 7assa el sa3a kam aslan....

I put on my clothes w nezelt at 2 3ashan awaddy el sowar ely ba2aly yomein me7tasa feehom el sa2ia, asl deadline el mosab2a el naharda wana zana2t nafsy zay kol marra l a5er yomein, I left home w mesheet f taree2y 3ady geddan, ba3d sera3 m3 el za7am el raheeb la2etny 3nd el 2al3a f Salah Salem....

Howa ana eh ely gabny hena?! Ana leh matle3tesh kobry october?
Mobarmaga......taree2 el ma5ruba....sa7ya msh sa7ya, yeb2a ray7a el ma5ruba (ely aslan mabaro7hash).

Tab eh el 7al delwa2ty?! Where to go? msh harga3 el taree2 men awelo tany, el donia za7ma...

I'll take a shortcut, ana hafakkar delwa2ty w ha3raf ana momken amshy ezzay...
(If you don't know me well f I'm a shortcut person, maba7ebbesh el 3atala wel za7ma, law taree2 ma2fol ba5od 3'ero :D)

I managed to go through "share3 Mohammed Ali" then "Hassan el Akbar" reaching downtown w menha lel zamalek 3ady zay el nas...

While moving fel za7ma di I remembered 7agat adeema awy....I remembered the first time I went to share3 el mo3ez w el 3'oureya with my 3rd prep English teacher, I can still remember her voice "W hena etshana2 Toman bay w et3alla2et re2abto 3ala bab zewila".....ma3rafsh leh eftakartaha fel la7za di bezzat, bs maybe 3ashan we went through the same way, aslena konna fel 2al3a ablaha :):D

El taree2 mabyet7arraksh aslan, so I started watching el nas w homma mashyeen (aywa...psycho) w el ma7allat, wel 3eyal ely rag3een men madares-hom, wel masaged wel byout el adeema...7atta 3asaker el mrour ely zeh2o men el morour :D

I thought about 7agat f 7ayaty, and It was great to spend sometime alone thinking about kol 7aga, about what you've been into, what you've done, what you should do, what's happening to you and the messages you're getting....

It was a great pause that I needed, yet I couldn't get it while being driven away by za7met el ayam w kalam el nas w 5ena2at el as7ab w afashat el ahaly w el derasa w....w....w.....


I reached my destination at 4....it took me 2 hours while it's usually a 30-45 mins drive....

Bas ana madaya3tesh wa2ty, ana et2a5art ah, bs 7ammelt kteer fel taree2....

El 5olasa:

Yemken aw2at keteer (keteer awy 3andy :D) ned5ol f taree2 3ashan e7na mobarmageen, aw 3ashan el kol el nas bete3mel keda aw 3ashan howa da el 3ady aw...aw....aw...

W bnekteshef ennena fe a "wrong" way...w ne2oaf wa2fa msh 3arfeen ne3mel eh....mayenfa3sh nelef w nerga3, w mayenfa3sh nekammel w nrou7 7etta 3'er ely el mafroud neb2a feeha....w as3ab la7za heya ekteshaf el "shortcut" w ennena nod5olo...yemken nkoun 3arfeeno bs mabna5odsh balna en dal wa2t ely lazem nesta3melo feeh...

We may reach our destination late...bs ben reach it :) w ben reach it we7na kasbaneen keteer awy...Rabbena 3omro ma bey7ottena in a "wrong" way, it's a right way, bs not the way we planned for aw not the shortest way...yet, it's a way, w a very useful one kaman, and maybe we wouldn't have reach our destination b what we need ella through that "wr-ight" way.

"It's never too late....we never need U-turns".